Life has a way of throwing curveballs. You think you’re prepared, in a ready stance and watching for the fast pitches to come in on their regular cadence. And generally you hit those, sometimes even knock it out of the park. But a curve is different, it’s slower and it drops when you least expect it. Sometimes you’ll see it right before it happens, but by then it’s too late and you know it’s a miss. Just when you’re settling in and feeling confident about hitting the fastballs, the Great Comedian decides to mix things up to keep your game interesting, maybe even teach you a couple of things along the way. Last week I was thrown a curveball.

For the first time in my twenty year career in corporate America, I was impacted by a large layoff at my company. I have watched it happen to so many around me and have even been on the manager side of things, having to deliver tough news to one of my colleagues. It’s never easy no matter what side you’re on and when it’s impacting so many people at once, it’s not personal or even performance based either. It’s business. It’s a numbers game and frankly, I’m probably pretty lucky that I’ve escaped it up until now. So with this news, I find myself in transition.

Though our family has been through a lot of change in the last year with extended international travel, new jobs, new schools and a move to a new city, we’ve been able to participate in those choices. Some were drawn out and carefully planned, others were quick and required nimble decision-making, but none were completely unexpected. This one caught me off-guard. I’m not worried about finding another job; I feel confident I will land in a great place when the time is right. It’s not the concern of the next thing, but rather the complex set of emotions wrapped around this that I wasn’t anticipating. I can rationalize that this is business, but as a human being, of course I feel the loss emotionally. I have always been career driven so it’s a part of who I am. What will I do in my day to day without the demands of a full-time career? How does this change how I define my story? Over the last week I’ve had flashes of sadness, anger, doubt, grief, confusion…did I mention anger? But now comes the passage from those negative emotions to the positive ones, the transition from grief to freedom. The time spent how I want to spend it.

I am starting to pass through the state of grief and into the state of creativity. My plan is to use this time off to spend with my kids and to finish my novel, which has been, and continues to be a true labor of love. I firmly believe that God works in our lives and provides the opportunities for us that we need, when we need them. I am going to use this new found freedom to write, to truly be a writer, to complete what I have started. So many friends and family have been supportive of my creative journey since the beginning. The encouragement from each of you has been essential to my perseverance and for that I am forever grateful.

I may not have hit the first curve ball I was thrown, but I have been to the practice rounds. I know how best to use this time, better than I would have at any other point in my life. Not only will I take advantage of this occasion in the dugout, but I’ll also sharpen my swing in the process. I’ll know the pitch the next time I see it. Batter up.